Friday, December 25, 2009

Life in the northern hemisphere

It has only been a week and a day since I have made my finally acclaimed move to Canada and things have been a little shaky. For starters, applying for jobs here is completely different than what I'm used to. I mean, I have never been prompted to hand my resume "just in case" they are looking for participants to hire. Usually a job application would set me in that category, but not here I guess. Aside from even looking for work, I've been looking for a place to live! I've been lucky enough to have my friends brother house me, and my girlfriend sneak me into her residence, for a place for me to sleep. But I have to find a place for myself. I suppose you can take this as me "declaring my independence" but just my attempt to get away from that wretched state, Florida. And now, I'm out! So for the most part, I got what I wanted. Now the hard part is surviving on my own.

Looking for jobs around here has been such a hassle. Whether it's been looking on craigslist, or taking a walk down Bloor street, it seems like every employer I encounter just seems to turn the other cheek and ignore my presence. And this whole "do you want to drop off your resume" business just seems like an easy way for those part time cashiers to brush you off their shoulders. They probably don't even deliver the resume to the manager, and who says the manager ever bothers reading them most of the time. Besides, why would the employee want another person to be hired? that just means their hours have to be lowered in accordance to the new employees hours, so that all employees have their schedules accommodated to the changes. All thanks to the new employee. So, Yeah. I can see why they wouldn't been too thrilled to know I'm looking for a job. Let alone handing out resumes. I know I wouldn't exactly be happy knowing that. *sigh* I suppose what I REALLY need is some networking around this city. Friends that can help me get into those high places. Hookups. But as for now, that doesn't seem like its possible...

Also, theres this "license" or "certificate" that ALL waiters in Ontario MUST have, called the SmartServe License. Basically it allows the waiter/server to serve alcohol. As far as the rules state, the legal drinking age in Ontario is 19 (which means I can drink :D hehehehehe), but the legal serving of alcohol age in Ontario is 18 (which.... is odd in comparison to the drinking age). But seems like every waiter job I have applied at thus far has seemed to require the possession of this SmartServe license which I don't have, nor do I know how to obtain.

Aside from the job search, I have also gone about doing other things, such as getting a bank account. Apparently, in Canada, seems like just about everything has some sort of fee or tax on it. For example, my bank account is an "Unlimited Chequing Account" (Yeah, still have to get used to the usage of q's instead of ck's or just k's) which basically is a minimum charge of $12.75 Canadian per month. I checked all the plans and they all have monthly fees. It's pretty outrageous but I guess this is how people live here. Also, everything is crazy taxed here! but on the brighter side, Minimum wage is higher.... So I suppose It's a benefit? not too sure yet. As for my future endeavours, I must wait and see where this path takes me. I'll do my best to "stay the course" and not let myself give up.




And if I fail, I guess there's always Boston....

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

fuckfuckfuckfuck

im not sleeping. I choose not to. She doesnt know. She doesnt have a clue how much she affects me. I dont know why I let myself feel this way sometimes... Let myself get this low. Sometimes I wish it never was like this, sometimes I wish I never was. Idk anymore. I really dont know. I dont know if she feels the same about me. I think she does... but nothing in this world is certain. I hate this. I hate it when things become like this. It would probably be better, but I can only hope. For all I know, this could be the end... This could be her last straw... I know I'm a horrible boyfriend. You don't have to tell me. You don't have to make me feel worst that I already do. I don't have much time per day to waste as I freely would like. But Every day, no matter what the hour, I try to significantly manage to reserve a chunk of time dedicated to talking to you, or spending it with you. I loose sleep sometimes because of that. Then theres the emotional stress you give me, over things so small they could be resolved without even trying... but no one tries... I dont even know where to begin trying... Everything is so mixed up and jumbled. theres horrible communication. You're just like your mom sometimes... I guess It's a genetic thing that runs in your family... I dont know why... why do I have to control myself, While you go crazy, while you go around hitting everything in sight. I take those punches, in hopes it would get better in the long run. sometimes I dont even mind; I know how you can be. I accept that. But have you no consideration for others?! U preach That I dont care about you, that my love for you is bullshit. but can you really say that with no legit means to back your statements? there. Mission accomplished. you made me feel guilty. But now what. are you satisfied? no, im not missing the point, because there was never a point to begin with.

\\

I just dont want things to be like this anymore. I dont want to feel like this. I love you. no matter how crazy you are /:

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

What Have I Become...

I once used to be
and aspiring artist
I once used to be
a harmony loving musician
I once used to be
a sensitive poet
I once used to be
and independent philosopher

Things I once had.
once were.
now, not.

I once used to have dreams
but now i wander through my sleep.
I once thought outside the box
but now I'm nothing but the box.
I used to think things to the point where they made sense
but now I just think to much.

So much that I begin to wonder
What have I become

My worst nightmare;
What I used to make fun of when i was younger;
what I used to fear to become;
nothing.