Post 11: Of all the cliches and metaphores

I did it. I finally took all I had, and she hers, and went right for it. I told her everything. Summed up in a single phrase, one I'd never believe in again. But it's almost as if the more and more I attempted to deny it, the more and more it gave me reason not to. To something I used to refer to as the "4 letter lie" has now become one of the only explanations as to how I feel towards her. I will do at any cost to simply be WITH her, but, as everyone knows... nothing is perfect. And in our case, there are things in my way. Hopefully, this summer I'll fix these such problematic monotonies which seem to occur ever so often to me. I really wish that everything would be easy from here on. All I know, and all I care for, is being with her. I've been down in the dumps for so long... no matter how hard I tried convincing myself before that I wasn't, I was. And even when I thought I knocked out of my depression, I was still stuck... deep. But... the feeling she gives me, is (i swear) like no other! I mean, I won't lie and say I've never felt it before. But this time it's to such a higher degree... Sometimes it scares me, but most of all, it lightens me; as if gravity didn't apply to me, and I'm able to soar several stories into the air, and simply fly to her.

It's pretty ridiculous for me to say any of this but it's all true, 100% of it all.
I simply can't wait till this July when everything is in the clear, and I'll hold her in my arms. In essence, that's all I really want right now. Not just a hug, but her hug.

<3

Post 10: I Can't Help But Smile

So much has happened this past week. No. Month. But even so, she always kept me smiling. It's kind of funny, and yet kind of odd at the exact same time, as to how close I got to her (and she to me), yet I'm sure there's still a lot we don't know about each other. Heh, makes me scoff a little inside, because when I think about how long I've known her, and I think about how much I care about her, I can't help but think that maybe I'm living in a Disney-esk life. Where things like this happen so quickly and sometimes so unknowingly, it really catches you by surprise.

I recently saw this other girl's facebook, and I've come to a realization... Although we don't anymore, and although, there used to be SOMETHING there... The fact of the matter is, that there is nothing there anymore. Where as there might have been before, even the littlest bit, there's nothing there now. And it's a pity... I suppose, in essence, it's my fault. I let this happen. And i brought myself down for the longest time. Funny enough, someone like her can make me feel like I can achieve more than is humanly possible. As if I'm on top of the world. And bit by bit, I'm accomplishing tasks I never thought I'd accomplish. I care about her so much, It's hard for me to express through any form of art or expression. Whether it be music, visual arts, or even the verbal art. I suppose I hold back at times, but ill tell her truly when I see her. I won't hesitate.